Dr. Lynn Margolies
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College-age concerns

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     Being A Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
    

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy to represent both teen and parent viewpoints on anger and guilt in families during divorce.Sabrina, 18, was a freshman away at college. Shortly after she arrived at school she found out that her parents had just split up. Sabrina also soon discovered that her dad had been having an affair since she was in high school, and was still involved with the other woman...(Click for full article)

 
     Being a Wise Ally
    

High school seniors are often faced with increasing internal strife and pressure over which school to choose, with a complex array of feelings informing their leanings towards one school over another. Parents have their own biases and may believe they are “right” in their assessment of what school may open more doors in the future...(Click for full article)

 
     Bonding with Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity
    

How can we tell whether our reactions are coming from our own unresolved issues versus “legitimate”?...(Click for full article)

 
     Courage and Limits With Your Teen
    

Recognize that, though they will say otherwise (and that’s ok), teens feel protected by limits. No one likes feeling out of control without anyone strong enough to help them...(Click for full article)

 
     Crisis of Confidence in a Teen: It's a Family Matter
    

This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family...(Click for full article)

 
     Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared
    

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to mature and transition to the next level...(Click for full article)

 
     Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid (Part 1)
    

A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who are not following the rules because of limited executive function is not only ineffective, but leads children who are already often frustrated and discouraged to feel bad about themselves and unsupported...(Click for full article)

 
     Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid (Part 2)
    

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s causing this behavior? Though they may look the same, a problem of defiance is handled differently than one of capacity. Learning difficulties involving executive functioning are neurologically based, but executive functioning is sensitive to and impeded by stress. Parents’ reactions can, in this way, become an additional impediment to children’s executive functioning...(Click for full article)

 
     Having a Smooth "Break-up" With Your College-Bound Teen
    

Casey, having just turned 18, is faced with suddenly being “grown up.” The more his mom tells him what to do and what he needs to learn for college, the less confident he feels, requiring him to put up a front of independence and bravado and having to argue the position that he already knows how to do everything. Unimpeded development of self-confidence and independence in children is contingent on mothers’ ability to provide a protective, but not over-protective, or obtrusive presence...(Click for full article)

 
     Know Your Limits: A Prom Primer for Parents
    

According to the National Institute of Health, drinking - the drug of choice among youth - plays a major role in death from injuries, and injuries are the leading cause of death for kids under 21...(Click for full article)

 
     Parental Guilt Over Kids' Perceived Failures (Part 2)
    

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves and others, perpetuating the cycle of underachievement...(Click for full article)

 
     PSYCHOLOGY NEWS BLOG - Special Issue: Sexual Assault on Campus
    

 
     Teens and Internet Pornography
    

What should parents do when they discover that their young teen or pre-teen has been looking at pornography sites online?... And what are the potential negative effects of viewing online pornography?...(Click for full article)

 
     The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed
    

Our teens are embedded in a culture driven by competition and perfectionism, where success is defined by status, performance and appearance. These values are transmitted to our children nonverbally through our emotional state and through what we notice, are impressed with, and praise or discourage in them...(Click for full article)

 
     Weddings, Graduations and Other Chapter Endings
    

Milestones such as weddings and graduations are complicated and not always filled with bliss...(Click for full article)

 


 
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Dr. Lynn Margolies * 53 Langley Rd., Suite 210 * Newton, MA 02459 * 617.244.2444
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