by
Dr. Lynn Margolies
What to say to "It's none of your business" and other porcupine tactics.
KEY POINTS
-Even when teens or other kids seem unreceptive and in denial, parents have a significant impact on their emotions, behavior, and decisions.
-Using the right tools with teens and adult kids with issues, parents can bring out higher functioning and better behavior in the interaction.
-Children internalize parent’s expectations, fears, and anxieties through the emotional connection but parents can shape the impact of this.
Many parents face the challenge of trying to help a teen, young adult, or older adult child who is refusing to face a conspicuous problem. In a common scenario, parents are forced to bear witness to a smoldering problem with apparent solutions, but silenced and forbidden to help—with the child calling the shots.
A typical situation involves kids who use denial, avoidance, wishful thinking, and blaming other people for their disappointments or failures, claiming they have everything under control and don’t need help. For example, it could be a college-age child who got put on probation or had to take a leave from school due to failing grades, a failure-to-launch or dependent adult child, or a teen struggling emotionally and/or academically.
Check out my Psychology Today post for the answers. (Click below):
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
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