Articles on Midlife Crises

By Dr. Lynn Margolies

Back to Men’s Issues

The characters from the vignettes in Dr. Margolies’ articles are fictitious and designed to be relatable to many people and common themes. They are not based on any patient’s individual situation or disclosure but were derived from a composite of people and events for the purpose of representing real-life situations and psychological dilemmas. Terms of Use.

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

Breaking out of self-destructive habits requires deliberate action – not willpower, talking, or insight alone. Escape behaviors are often an unconscious attempt to avoid shame and other difficult feeling states, but when they become habitual, they fuel more shame and isolation. Unwanted behavior patterns can develop a life of their own but can be tackled with practical neuroscience-based tools that leverage the way the brain works.

5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Hidden shame often drives self-destructive behaviors and other psychological symptoms such as rage, avoidance, or addictions.

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let go of the illicit relationship, compounding the lure that led to the affair in the first place.

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize – or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.

In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women? They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as a man.

Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

There are aspects of men’s experiences that are particular to being male. In working with men, it is important for a psychologist to understand the differences in men’s experiences, what men need, and how to best help them achieve their goals.

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.

The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

Learn why people cheat in relationships and whether it means they don’t really love their wife (or husband). The answer may surprise you.

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

The Unspoken Issue With Guns

This blog discusses recent data on guns, violence, and abuse.

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.

When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is essentially an identity crisis that occurs at around midlife that evolves into a crisis when men act out their feelings and have an affair or otherwise blow up their lives. Men in a midlife crisis feel trapped in an identity or lifestyle that feels constraining and they want to break out. This can lead to destructive behavior that dismantlles their lives or an impetus to make positve changes.

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.