Articles on Attraction & Romance

By Dr. Lynn Margolies

Back to Relationship Issues

The characters from the vignettes in Dr. Margolies’ articles are fictitious and designed to be relatable to many people and common themes. They are not based on any patient’s individual situation or disclosure but were derived from a composite of people and events for the purpose of representing real-life situations and psychological dilemmas. Terms of Use.

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

Find out why matching with certain types of people can lead to surprising outcomes you did not expect (or want).

A Good Sex Life Is Not Just About Chemistry

Feelings that are unconscious or unresolved make themselves known through actions and symptoms. Persevering to uncover the true and often underlying meaning of symptoms and behaviors may not only save your relationship, but also open you up to a deeper awareness of yourself and your partner.

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let go of the illicit relationship, compounding the lure that led to the affair in the first place.

Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Coldplay And the Dignity Of Shame (July 23, 2025)

It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

Many people seek partners based on a list of qualifications or instinctive attraction to certain types. These approaches, though popular, do not consider the flavor that will emerge when features they are drawn to co-mingle with their own personality.

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.