Browse Articles

By Dr. Lynn Margolies

Featured Topics

Explore

The characters from the vignettes in Dr. Margolies’ articles are fictitious and designed to be relatable to many people and common themes. They are not based on any patient’s individual situation or disclosure but were derived from a composite of people and events for the purpose of representing real-life situations and psychological dilemmas. Terms of Use.

Affairs & Fantasy (16)

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting the child’s experience of being caught in the middle between their parents in a contentious situation, as well as the parents’ perspective. These descriptions are…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Coldplay And the Dignity Of Shame (July 23, 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize - or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to End an Affair: Examples Tell All
A man smiles at his phone while a woman looks at him with concern from behind.
How to End an Affair: Examples Tell All

How to End an Affair: Examples Tell All

The phrases and behaviors that secretly perpetuate an affair.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

There are two states of mind we can be in when it comes to temptation: zooming in and fantasizing about the rush, or zooming out and seeing the broader picture of how things will play out if we act on…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse
A man in a hoodie points to his shadow, which resembles a long nose, against a gray wall.
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

Learn why people cheat in relationships and whether it means they don’t really love their wife (or husband). The answer may surprise you.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

Underlying the stories that men tell iabout their wives n therapy is the feeling that their wives are not really their friend. Women don't seem to realize this. For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Fantasy Crosses the Line
When Fantasy Crosses the Line

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is essentially an identity crisis that occurs at around midlife that evolves into a crisis when men act out their feelings and have an affair or otherwise blow up their lives. Men in a midlife crisis feel…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?
Two women pull a man in different directions, showing tension in a domestic setting.
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Assertiveness & Boundaries (39)

Arming Yourself Against “I’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases
Arming Yourself Against “I’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases

Arming Yourself Against “I’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases

Annoyed by phrases like "I'm just saying"? Learn why people use them, their hidden meanings, and practical ways to respond confidently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: It's the Era of Swagger Without the Sweat (Savannah Sobrevilla, March 29, 2026)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making
Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

This blog discusses recent findings that women may be more effective than men in negotiating finances in certain situations and making smart decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?
A woman comforts a young man, who appears distressed, in a bright kitchen setting.
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Many people experience vicarious distress when imagining other people’s reactions, which can hold them back from taking needed action in those relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Wondering how to support your spouse’s career? Research shows a supportive partner boosts success, job satisfaction, and happiness by reducing stress.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Competing Family Loyalties
Competing Family Loyalties

Competing Family Loyalties

As the child becomes an adult, a mother with an anxious, insecure attachment style may refuse to let go, secretly needing to remain the primary love attachment. This may not become apparent until her son find a romantic love partner…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Competition Among Women: Myth & Reality
Competition Among Women: Myth & Reality

Competition Among Women: Myth & Reality

Women seem to have a reputation for being “catty” and competitive with other women, unlike how men behave with other men. This is a curious notion, especially since women are actually less competitive than men out in the world and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Courage & Limits With Your Teen
Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the parent’s and teenager's perspective, with teens who are too good to be true. The story helps teach parents what to look for with…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Empathic ability, or “mind reading,” develops in the brain when parents know how to translate their children's reactions and respond in a way that helps them regulate their emotional states. This process also involves helping the child understand what is…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness
Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness

Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness

Self-defeating behaviors can be understood as habits with psychological, often unconscious motives. Breaking these habits requires not only insight into the function they serve and the resolve to stop them, but the courage and initiative to try out new behaviors,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
A cartoon boy with spiky blonde hair and 3D glasses walks forward, arms outstretched.
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

There are two states of mind we can be in when it comes to temptation: zooming in and fantasizing about the rush, or zooming out and seeing the broader picture of how things will play out if we act on…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

Boundary setting is challenging. Most people have difficulty saying no or setting a boundary. Predictably, ithout a strategy, people resort to repeating the same tactics that haven't worked or give in and then get resentful. Boundaries protect relationships, and this…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

Thoughtful preparation when it comes to conversations involving strong feelings is worth the effort in order to maximize success and effect damage control. Fast forwarding in our minds to predict how communications will likely play out can make it quickly…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood
In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women? They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as a…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Jordan Neely Was Hungry. Did No One Offer Him Something to Eat?
Jordan Neely Was Hungry. Did No One Offer Him Something to Eat?

Jordan Neely Was Hungry. Did No One Offer Him Something to Eat?

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on a Boston Globe Column: A Black man desperate for help instead finds death on the N.Y. subway (Renée Graham, May 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind
A man with a thoughtful expression looks slightly puzzled, wearing a blue button-up shirt.
Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Some men have a pattern of instinctively accommodating and then becoming resentful and acting it out - often without realizing it. Men vulnerable to this dynamic may have limited self-awareness or skills to communicate their needs and feelings directly. Secret…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

There are aspects of men’s experiences that are particular to being male. In working with men, it is important for a psychologist to understand the differences in men’s experiences, what men need, and how to best help them achieve their…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity
A woman thoughtfully considers her next move in a chess game, with black pieces on the board.
Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Are you giving up your power in relationships with intimidating people? Understanding the psychology behind what's happening can help you act from a position of strength.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Outlawed by Your In-Laws
Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Failure to set appropriate boundaries with a mother often results in persistent in-law conflicts and problems in the marriage. Many marital issues fall into this category and can be traced to habitual boundary difficulties between mothers and sons which spill…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word
A hand holds a martini glass with small figures inside, including a dollar sign and three people in various poses.
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

Describing yourself (or someone else) as a "people pleaser" confuses subordinating yourself with altruism, and encourages this unhealthy behavior. Read Dr. Margolies commentary in the New York Times to understand the psychology behind the term “people pleaser” and why the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season
Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Guilt can be used unconsciously to get loved ones to do what we want. Even though this method doesn't always produce the intended effects, we may resort to it when feeling helpless in the face of longing and disappointment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

This article discusses confusing patterns that occur with narcissistic and controlling parents and other people.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”
Two cartoon dogs converse. One claims, "I'm not passive-aggressive," while the other replies, "Unlike some people I know.
“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”

“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”

Lately the annoying expression “I’m just saying” keeps coming up in everyday conversation. The remark preceded by “I’m just saying” is unsolicited and provocative. “I’m just saying” creates a confusing interpersonal dynamic. The speaker unconsciously attempts to trick the listener…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of the Guilt-Tripper
A woman sits with crossed arms while a couple argues in the background. A flower vase is on the table.
The Psychology of the Guilt-Tripper

The Psychology of the Guilt-Tripper

Does a family guilt-tripper have an emotional hold over you? Here's what makes them tick and why you feel you are being controlled.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
We Can Have an Impact
We Can Have an Impact

We Can Have an Impact

Dr. Margolies’ commentary on a New York Times article with a headline that used a poor choice of words.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

This column depicts the challenges parents face when trying to protect their teen. The story is told from the separate viewpoints of Dylan, 17, and his parents in a situation involving unproductive conversations about drinking. The story is followed by…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is essentially an identity crisis that occurs at around midlife that evolves into a crisis when men act out their feelings and have an affair or otherwise blow up their lives. Men in a midlife crisis feel…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Perseverance Costs You Success
When Perseverance Costs You Success

When Perseverance Costs You Success

Most of us know that persevering - staying the course and not giving up despite difficulties and setbacks - is an important part of what it takes to be successful in many areas of life. But perseverance, like other intrinsically…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

This article is about a common dynamic in families in which parents feel controlled by their teenage or adult child's anger, irritability, and/or fragility and, as a result, avoid approaching certain topics or setting needed limits. Tiptoeing and avoiding instead…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Some struggles that women experience are common to many women, and can therefore be attributed to or understood in this larger context of what it means to be a woman in this culture. Framing women's issues in this larger context…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

People often avoid and isolate those who are grieving or have terminal illnesses, either literally or emotionally - inadvertently isolating the person in their lives who is suffering. They are uncomfortable, don’t know what to say or how to act…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Difficult Conversations (20)

5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk
A young man sits with crossed arms, listening intently to a man in a pink shirt, who holds a clipboard.
5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk

5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk

People make similar mistakes that are not so obvious when trying to engage someone who doesn’t want to talk. Considering the audience and previous interactions with them allows us to predict how conversations will play out and make informed decisions.…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook
A woman carries two boxes labeled "Living Room #4" while a man checks his phone.
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Arming Yourself Against “I’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases
Arming Yourself Against “I’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases

Arming Yourself Against “I’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases

Annoyed by phrases like "I'm just saying"? Learn why people use them, their hidden meanings, and practical ways to respond confidently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: It's the Era of Swagger Without the Sweat (Savannah Sobrevilla, March 29, 2026)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

Parents don’t have the power to influence whether their child is gay or not, but do have the power to influence how their child feels about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
A cartoon boy with spiky blonde hair and 3D glasses walks forward, arms outstretched.
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

Boundary setting is challenging. Most people have difficulty saying no or setting a boundary. Predictably, ithout a strategy, people resort to repeating the same tactics that haven't worked or give in and then get resentful. Boundaries protect relationships, and this…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

Thoughtful preparation when it comes to conversations involving strong feelings is worth the effort in order to maximize success and effect damage control. Fast forwarding in our minds to predict how communications will likely play out can make it quickly…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

This column offers a simple strategy to help couples reduce and de-escalate conflict. It discusses common struggles behind closed doors. Common issues between spouses during the pandemic have to do with risk tolerance differences, feeling trapped and resentful. This piece…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”
Two cartoon dogs converse. One claims, "I'm not passive-aggressive," while the other replies, "Unlike some people I know.
“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”

“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”

Lately the annoying expression “I’m just saying” keeps coming up in everyday conversation. The remark preceded by “I’m just saying” is unsolicited and provocative. “I’m just saying” creates a confusing interpersonal dynamic. The speaker unconsciously attempts to trick the listener…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide
A person in a hoodie sits on a bed, looking at a phone in a dimly lit room.
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

Parents can mediate the negative effects of internet porn on teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

Why do teens watch porn? How it impacts their views on sex, consent, and relationships—and what parents can do to effectively address these issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Work
When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Work

When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Work

Many people readily apologize but find it doesn't get them very far - or even aggravates the problem. Learn the psychology behind bad and good apologies, including 5 simple steps for apologies that work.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why We Hold Grudges: The Psychology of Whether to Forgive
Three people in festive attire sit at a table with food, looking bored or contemplative.
Why We Hold Grudges: The Psychology of Whether to Forgive

Why We Hold Grudges: The Psychology of Whether to Forgive

The holiday season ramps up pressure to forgive family members who have hurt us.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

People often avoid and isolate those who are grieving or have terminal illnesses, either literally or emotionally - inadvertently isolating the person in their lives who is suffering. They are uncomfortable, don’t know what to say or how to act…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on News Articles (12)

Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic
Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic

Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic

Dr. Margolies' Letter to the editor with a response from the publication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: It's the Era of Swagger Without the Sweat (Savannah Sobrevilla, March 29, 2026)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise
Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: How college-educated Republicans learned to love Trump again (Michael Bender, January 14)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Coldplay And the Dignity Of Shame (July 23, 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Jordan Neely Was Hungry. Did No One Offer Him Something to Eat?
Jordan Neely Was Hungry. Did No One Offer Him Something to Eat?

Jordan Neely Was Hungry. Did No One Offer Him Something to Eat?

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on a Boston Globe Column: A Black man desperate for help instead finds death on the N.Y. subway (Renée Graham, May 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word
A hand holds a martini glass with small figures inside, including a dollar sign and three people in various poses.
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

Describing yourself (or someone else) as a "people pleaser" confuses subordinating yourself with altruism, and encourages this unhealthy behavior. Read Dr. Margolies commentary in the New York Times to understand the psychology behind the term “people pleaser” and why the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates
A blue graduation cap with a yellow character clinging to its tassel against a pink background.
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

Perfectionism in teens is rising with pressure to succeed. Learn how parental expectations impact mental health and shape success beyond high school.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Teen Temperament
The Teen Temperament

The Teen Temperament

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on a New York Times Column: Younger Teenagers Make Their Case to Vote (Sunday Styles, Aug. 10)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Sorry, You Don’t Get an A for Effort (December 29th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
We Can Have an Impact
We Can Have an Impact

We Can Have an Impact

Dr. Margolies’ commentary on a New York Times article with a headline that used a poor choice of words.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: The Raw Power of Repentance (French, July 28th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Family Issues (67)

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen
10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

Practical tips for dealing with teenagers to build trust, respect, and better communication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors
A man in a blue shirt and cap looks concerned, holding his forehead with a serious expression.
10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

Breaking out of self-destructive habits requires deliberate action - not willpower, talking, or insight alone. Escape behaviors are often an unconscious attempt to avoid shame and other difficult feeling states, but when they become habitual, they fuel more shame and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

Parents get intimidated when their teenager refuses to talk or shuts down conversations. Here are 3 simple tricks to get your teenager to talk, listen, and engage in a two-way conversation.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices
6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

Helping teens make good choices. Reduce risky behavior. Proven strategies for teaching how to make the right decisions and better decision making.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting the child’s experience of being caught in the middle between their parents in a contentious situation, as well as the parents’ perspective. These descriptions are…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens
A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

In order to help teens, we must accurately diagnose why a particular teen in a particular context is irritable or reactive - rather than respond in a reflexive way.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe
A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

Learn the facts about the teenage brain. Take this short quiz to see if you still harbor common stereotypes about teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook
A woman carries two boxes labeled "Living Room #4" while a man checks his phone.
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

How do we deal with getting our loved ones to do what we want them to do? In all relationships we feel the tension created by this dilemma. The subtext of interactions between parents and children facing conflict shapes the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Teen drinking alters brain development, increasing anxiety and cravings, and heightens risk for adult alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective, followed by the therapist’s psychological analysis and guidance.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen
A person sits on a bed, using a device, surrounded by scattered clothes and a messy room.
Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Feeling rejected, worried, or fed up with your college-bound teen? You are not alone. Here's what to do.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?
A woman comforts a young man, who appears distressed, in a bright kitchen setting.
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Many people experience vicarious distress when imagining other people’s reactions, which can hold them back from taking needed action in those relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Competing Family Loyalties
Competing Family Loyalties

Competing Family Loyalties

As the child becomes an adult, a mother with an anxious, insecure attachment style may refuse to let go, secretly needing to remain the primary love attachment. This may not become apparent until her son find a romantic love partner…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Courage & Limits With Your Teen
Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the parent’s and teenager's perspective, with teens who are too good to be true. The story helps teach parents what to look for with…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?
Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

This is the story of a kid who feels propelled to act out - yet equally powerful is his unconscious need to get caught. The essence of what’s needed is to listen and respond to danger in a firm and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Empathic ability, or “mind reading,” develops in the brain when parents know how to translate their children's reactions and respond in a way that helps them regulate their emotional states. This process also involves helping the child understand what is…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or emotional control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, parents and teachers may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

Communicating with teens is key—poor communication can make them feel invalidated, raising risk of self-harm. Validating feelings supports safety.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

When grades are slipping and teens don’t seem to be taking action, it’s easy for parents to react from frustration and helplessness. Under pressure, we can fall into common traps without realizing it. These common instinctive reactions, even if they…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

Although we don’t usually think of suicide as contagious, one of the strongest predictors of suicide in youth is the suicide or suicide attempt of a friend or family member.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

Parents don’t have the power to influence whether their child is gay or not, but do have the power to influence how their child feels about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)
How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)

How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)

When kids independently do what we would have wanted, either their natural inclinations sync with our values - or our values have been successfully transmitted. At these happy moments, an ill-timed temptation to jump in to emphasize a lesson may…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
A cartoon boy with spiky blonde hair and 3D glasses walks forward, arms outstretched.
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity
A woman thoughtfully considers her next move in a chess game, with black pieces on the board.
Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Are you giving up your power in relationships with intimidating people? Understanding the psychology behind what's happening can help you act from a position of strength.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online behaviors that can put teens at risk—why they hide cyberbullying, sexting, and social pressure, plus parenting tips to guide and protect them.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Outlawed by Your In-Laws
Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Failure to set appropriate boundaries with a mother often results in persistent in-law conflicts and problems in the marriage. Many marital issues fall into this category and can be traced to habitual boundary difficulties between mothers and sons which spill…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

One of the most common difficulties for parents is how to contain their reactions and not make things worse when children don’t do well or fail to measure up to their expectations. Families with kids who are not high achievers,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction
Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parents of teens can use answers. But it’s not so easy to stay updated. This questionnaire highlights common questions and popular confusions to help parents sort out truth from fiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Power Plays Between Brothers & Families
Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

This column tells a story about power plays between brothers and in families, depicting how the troubled relationship between two brothers was a therapeutic opportunity to change maladaptive family patterns. The story is told from both the parent’s and the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Teens don’t feel safe talking to adults about suicide. Some suicidal teens may be good actors - showing us what we want to see. Learn how to make it safe for your teen to talk to you and trust you,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2
Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2

Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2

​The teenage brain has been compared to a car with a powerful gas pedal and weak brakes when stimulated by the presence, or even anticipated witnessing, of other teens. Drawn to their peers, teens pull away from us - and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind
Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Research suggests that adolescence may represent a “critical period” in which the brain is particularly sensitive to being shaped by experiences - creating both vulnerability and opportunity depending on what behaviors are practiced during this time. Teens who take the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season
Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Guilt can be used unconsciously to get loved ones to do what we want. Even though this method doesn't always produce the intended effects, we may resort to it when feeling helpless in the face of longing and disappointment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You
A man leans against a wall, resting his forehead on it, wearing a light sweater and dark pants.
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should you punish bad behavior? Punishment, including self-punishment, can teach the wrong lesson and is different from consequences. Even when we (or someone else) deserve to feel guilty, guilt can backfire and make people worse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen
Four students sit at a table, focused on writing during a test.
6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen

6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen

Check out Dr. Margolies’ new article on PsychologyToday about what really predicts lifelong success for teenagers and what parents can do to help them develop into healthy, competent adults.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

This article discusses confusing patterns that occur with narcissistic and controlling parents and other people.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

This blog discusses recent research on teen recklessness and how it's not what you think.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective with children who are high achievers and “too good” to be true, while dangerously suffering in silence. The story…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

Our teens are embedded in a culture driven by competition and perfectionism, where success is defined by status, performance and appearance. These values are transmitted to our children nonverbally through our emotional state and through what we notice, are impressed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The senior year countdown to college brings out parents’ worries and fears, which increases teens’ own anxieties and self-doubt. During this time of escalating pressure and stress in families, parents can fall into common traps that defeat their intention to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Adults Who Are Controlled by a Parent
A woman gently holds a man's face, examining him closely.
The Psychology of Adults Who Are Controlled by a Parent

The Psychology of Adults Who Are Controlled by a Parent

When childhood dynamics play out in adulthood, the spouse can get roped in.Conflict over competing loyalties is a dysfunctional family dynamic with men who haven't psychologically separated from their mothers. To have a secure adult relationship, a developmental transition has…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

Binge drinking in college age youth and on college campuses is an alarming, prevalent problem that has been normalized in the college culture among those involved in it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Truth About Teenagers That Most Adults Get Wrong
A young woman rests her chin on her hand, looking thoughtfully upward with a neutral expression.
The Truth About Teenagers That Most Adults Get Wrong

The Truth About Teenagers That Most Adults Get Wrong

Are teenagers immune to their parents' influence? Find out how to break through.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

This blog discusses the unique strengths of sensitive kids.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting
Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting

Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting

The challenge of getting certain kids (for example, kids who are distracted, hyperactive, rebellious, cranky) to follow routines and guidelines can test any parent’s patience. The flavor of the struggle varies with age and topic, but begins when toddlers first…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Weddings, Graduations & Other Chapter Endings
Weddings, Graduations & Other Chapter Endings

Weddings, Graduations & Other Chapter Endings

Milestones such as weddings and graduations and other chapter endings are complicated and not always filled with bliss. This article is about the psychologiy of navigating major life transitions. Major transitions are difficult because they unexpectedly activate struggles around saying…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide
A person in a hoodie sits on a bed, looking at a phone in a dimly lit room.
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

Parents can mediate the negative effects of internet porn on teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

Why do teens watch porn? How it impacts their views on sex, consent, and relationships—and what parents can do to effectively address these issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

This column depicts the challenges parents face when trying to protect their teen. The story is told from the separate viewpoints of Dylan, 17, and his parents in a situation involving unproductive conversations about drinking. The story is followed by…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

This article is about a common dynamic in families in which parents feel controlled by their teenage or adult child's anger, irritability, and/or fragility and, as a result, avoid approaching certain topics or setting needed limits. Tiptoeing and avoiding instead…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Your Kids Disappoint You
When Your Kids Disappoint You

When Your Kids Disappoint You

Parents may have a clear vision of their child’s “potential.” When their child's actual performance does not measure up, parents often become fearful about their futures. Even more unnerving is when kids don’t share these visions or worries. It’s enough…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?
Two women pull a man in different directions, showing tension in a domestic setting.
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Youth ages 18-25 have the highest rate of weed use, and this is increasing (SAMSA, 2025). But why does using weed really matter? Older generations may have used weed too and found it harmless. Who is impacted negatively by weed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong
Two women sit on a couch, one looks upset and turns away, while the other gestures expressively, appearing frustrated.
Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Frustrated by someone in your life who won’t admit they are wrong? Learn the psychology behind this problem and how it impacts relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Men’s Issues (38)

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors
A man in a blue shirt and cap looks concerned, holding his forehead with a serious expression.
10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

Breaking out of self-destructive habits requires deliberate action - not willpower, talking, or insight alone. Escape behaviors are often an unconscious attempt to avoid shame and other difficult feeling states, but when they become habitual, they fuel more shame and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior
5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Hidden shame often drives self-destructive behaviors and other psychological symptoms such as rage, avoidance, or addictions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting the child’s experience of being caught in the middle between their parents in a contentious situation, as well as the parents’ perspective. These descriptions are…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook
A woman carries two boxes labeled "Living Room #4" while a man checks his phone.
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Competing Family Loyalties
Competing Family Loyalties

Competing Family Loyalties

As the child becomes an adult, a mother with an anxious, insecure attachment style may refuse to let go, secretly needing to remain the primary love attachment. This may not become apparent until her son find a romantic love partner…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Empathic ability, or “mind reading,” develops in the brain when parents know how to translate their children's reactions and respond in a way that helps them regulate their emotional states. This process also involves helping the child understand what is…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize - or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

Parents don’t have the power to influence whether their child is gay or not, but do have the power to influence how their child feels about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

We all are faced at times with trying to persuade other people, or ourselves, to change a behavior. BUt our efforts and good intentions can leave us feeling frustrated and helpless. Why is it that people don't just do what…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

There are two states of mind we can be in when it comes to temptation: zooming in and fantasizing about the rush, or zooming out and seeing the broader picture of how things will play out if we act on…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood
In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women? They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as a…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind
A man with a thoughtful expression looks slightly puzzled, wearing a blue button-up shirt.
Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Some men have a pattern of instinctively accommodating and then becoming resentful and acting it out - often without realizing it. Men vulnerable to this dynamic may have limited self-awareness or skills to communicate their needs and feelings directly. Secret…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

There are aspects of men’s experiences that are particular to being male. In working with men, it is important for a psychologist to understand the differences in men’s experiences, what men need, and how to best help them achieve their…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Outlawed by Your In-Laws
Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Failure to set appropriate boundaries with a mother often results in persistent in-law conflicts and problems in the marriage. Many marital issues fall into this category and can be traced to habitual boundary difficulties between mothers and sons which spill…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Power Plays Between Brothers & Families
Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

This column tells a story about power plays between brothers and in families, depicting how the troubled relationship between two brothers was a therapeutic opportunity to change maladaptive family patterns. The story is told from both the parent’s and the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

This column offers a simple strategy to help couples reduce and de-escalate conflict. It discusses common struggles behind closed doors. Common issues between spouses during the pandemic have to do with risk tolerance differences, feeling trapped and resentful. This piece…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?
Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?

Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?

Selfish behavior or lack of empathy that looks like narcissism can be a manifestation by hidden hurt and resentment caused by insideious unresolved marital issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You
A man leans against a wall, resting his forehead on it, wearing a light sweater and dark pants.
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should you punish bad behavior? Punishment, including self-punishment, can teach the wrong lesson and is different from consequences. Even when we (or someone else) deserve to feel guilty, guilt can backfire and make people worse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”
Two cartoon dogs converse. One claims, "I'm not passive-aggressive," while the other replies, "Unlike some people I know.
“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”

“That’s an Ugly Shirt. I’m Just Saying”

Lately the annoying expression “I’m just saying” keeps coming up in everyday conversation. The remark preceded by “I’m just saying” is unsolicited and provocative. “I’m just saying” creates a confusing interpersonal dynamic. The speaker unconsciously attempts to trick the listener…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse
A man in a hoodie points to his shadow, which resembles a long nose, against a gray wall.
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

Learn why people cheat in relationships and whether it means they don’t really love their wife (or husband). The answer may surprise you.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unspoken Issue With Guns
The Unspoken Issue With Guns

The Unspoken Issue With Guns

This blog discusses recent data on guns, violence, and abuse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

Underlying the stories that men tell iabout their wives n therapy is the feeling that their wives are not really their friend. Women don't seem to realize this. For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: The Raw Power of Repentance (French, July 28th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Fantasy Crosses the Line
When Fantasy Crosses the Line

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Good Intentions Fall Short
When Good Intentions Fall Short

When Good Intentions Fall Short

Research has shown that regardless of what happened in the past, we can heal and grow and be good parents. Findings in neurobiology further suggest that whether we heal or continue to pass on our pain is determined by our…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Work
When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Work

When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Work

Many people readily apologize but find it doesn't get them very far - or even aggravates the problem. Learn the psychology behind bad and good apologies, including 5 simple steps for apologies that work.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is essentially an identity crisis that occurs at around midlife that evolves into a crisis when men act out their feelings and have an affair or otherwise blow up their lives. Men in a midlife crisis feel…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?
Two women pull a man in different directions, showing tension in a domestic setting.
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong
Two women sit on a couch, one looks upset and turns away, while the other gestures expressively, appearing frustrated.
Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Frustrated by someone in your life who won’t admit they are wrong? Learn the psychology behind this problem and how it impacts relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Midlife Crises (17)

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors
A man in a blue shirt and cap looks concerned, holding his forehead with a serious expression.
10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

Breaking out of self-destructive habits requires deliberate action - not willpower, talking, or insight alone. Escape behaviors are often an unconscious attempt to avoid shame and other difficult feeling states, but when they become habitual, they fuel more shame and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior
5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Hidden shame often drives self-destructive behaviors and other psychological symptoms such as rage, avoidance, or addictions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook
A woman carries two boxes labeled "Living Room #4" while a man checks his phone.
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize - or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood
In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

In the Doghouse… Again: Male & Misunderstood

Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women? They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as a…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

There are aspects of men’s experiences that are particular to being male. In working with men, it is important for a psychologist to understand the differences in men’s experiences, what men need, and how to best help them achieve their…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse
A man in a hoodie points to his shadow, which resembles a long nose, against a gray wall.
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

Learn why people cheat in relationships and whether it means they don’t really love their wife (or husband). The answer may surprise you.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unspoken Issue With Guns
The Unspoken Issue With Guns

The Unspoken Issue With Guns

This blog discusses recent data on guns, violence, and abuse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Fantasy Crosses the Line
When Fantasy Crosses the Line

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is essentially an identity crisis that occurs at around midlife that evolves into a crisis when men act out their feelings and have an affair or otherwise blow up their lives. Men in a midlife crisis feel…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Parenting Challenges (53)

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen
10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

Practical tips for dealing with teenagers to build trust, respect, and better communication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

Parents get intimidated when their teenager refuses to talk or shuts down conversations. Here are 3 simple tricks to get your teenager to talk, listen, and engage in a two-way conversation.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting the child’s experience of being caught in the middle between their parents in a contentious situation, as well as the parents’ perspective. These descriptions are…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens
A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

In order to help teens, we must accurately diagnose why a particular teen in a particular context is irritable or reactive - rather than respond in a reflexive way.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

How do we deal with getting our loved ones to do what we want them to do? In all relationships we feel the tension created by this dilemma. The subtext of interactions between parents and children facing conflict shapes the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Teen drinking alters brain development, increasing anxiety and cravings, and heightens risk for adult alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective, followed by the therapist’s psychological analysis and guidance.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen
A person sits on a bed, using a device, surrounded by scattered clothes and a messy room.
Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Feeling rejected, worried, or fed up with your college-bound teen? You are not alone. Here's what to do.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?
A woman comforts a young man, who appears distressed, in a bright kitchen setting.
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Many people experience vicarious distress when imagining other people’s reactions, which can hold them back from taking needed action in those relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Courage & Limits With Your Teen
Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the parent’s and teenager's perspective, with teens who are too good to be true. The story helps teach parents what to look for with…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?
Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

This is the story of a kid who feels propelled to act out - yet equally powerful is his unconscious need to get caught. The essence of what’s needed is to listen and respond to danger in a firm and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise
Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: How college-educated Republicans learned to love Trump again (Michael Bender, January 14)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Empathic ability, or “mind reading,” develops in the brain when parents know how to translate their children's reactions and respond in a way that helps them regulate their emotional states. This process also involves helping the child understand what is…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or emotional control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, parents and teachers may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

When grades are slipping and teens don’t seem to be taking action, it’s easy for parents to react from frustration and helplessness. Under pressure, we can fall into common traps without realizing it. These common instinctive reactions, even if they…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

Although we don’t usually think of suicide as contagious, one of the strongest predictors of suicide in youth is the suicide or suicide attempt of a friend or family member.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Pushing Kids to Succeed Can Backfire
How Pushing Kids to Succeed Can Backfire

How Pushing Kids to Succeed Can Backfire

Perfectionism in kids can harm motivation, mental health, and long-term success. Learn healthier parenting strategies for real growth and achievement.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

Parents don’t have the power to influence whether their child is gay or not, but do have the power to influence how their child feels about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)
How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)

How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)

When kids independently do what we would have wanted, either their natural inclinations sync with our values - or our values have been successfully transmitted. At these happy moments, an ill-timed temptation to jump in to emphasize a lesson may…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
A cartoon boy with spiky blonde hair and 3D glasses walks forward, arms outstretched.
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online behaviors that can put teens at risk—why they hide cyberbullying, sexting, and social pressure, plus parenting tips to guide and protect them.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

One of the most common difficulties for parents is how to contain their reactions and not make things worse when children don’t do well or fail to measure up to their expectations. Families with kids who are not high achievers,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction
Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parents of teens can use answers. But it’s not so easy to stay updated. This questionnaire highlights common questions and popular confusions to help parents sort out truth from fiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Teens don’t feel safe talking to adults about suicide. Some suicidal teens may be good actors - showing us what we want to see. Learn how to make it safe for your teen to talk to you and trust you,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2
Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2

Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2

​The teenage brain has been compared to a car with a powerful gas pedal and weak brakes when stimulated by the presence, or even anticipated witnessing, of other teens. Drawn to their peers, teens pull away from us - and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind
Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Research suggests that adolescence may represent a “critical period” in which the brain is particularly sensitive to being shaped by experiences - creating both vulnerability and opportunity depending on what behaviors are practiced during this time. Teens who take the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You
A man leans against a wall, resting his forehead on it, wearing a light sweater and dark pants.
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should you punish bad behavior? Punishment, including self-punishment, can teach the wrong lesson and is different from consequences. Even when we (or someone else) deserve to feel guilty, guilt can backfire and make people worse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

This article discusses confusing patterns that occur with narcissistic and controlling parents and other people.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

This blog discusses recent research on teen recklessness and how it's not what you think.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates
A blue graduation cap with a yellow character clinging to its tassel against a pink background.
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

Perfectionism in teens is rising with pressure to succeed. Learn how parental expectations impact mental health and shape success beyond high school.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The senior year countdown to college brings out parents’ worries and fears, which increases teens’ own anxieties and self-doubt. During this time of escalating pressure and stress in families, parents can fall into common traps that defeat their intention to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

Binge drinking in college age youth and on college campuses is an alarming, prevalent problem that has been normalized in the college culture among those involved in it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Teen Temperament
The Teen Temperament

The Teen Temperament

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on a New York Times Column: Younger Teenagers Make Their Case to Vote (Sunday Styles, Aug. 10)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting
Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting

Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting

The challenge of getting certain kids (for example, kids who are distracted, hyperactive, rebellious, cranky) to follow routines and guidelines can test any parent’s patience. The flavor of the struggle varies with age and topic, but begins when toddlers first…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Sorry, You Don’t Get an A for Effort (December 29th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide
A person in a hoodie sits on a bed, looking at a phone in a dimly lit room.
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

Parents can mediate the negative effects of internet porn on teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

Why do teens watch porn? How it impacts their views on sex, consent, and relationships—and what parents can do to effectively address these issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

This column depicts the challenges parents face when trying to protect their teen. The story is told from the separate viewpoints of Dylan, 17, and his parents in a situation involving unproductive conversations about drinking. The story is followed by…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Good Intentions Fall Short
When Good Intentions Fall Short

When Good Intentions Fall Short

Research has shown that regardless of what happened in the past, we can heal and grow and be good parents. Findings in neurobiology further suggest that whether we heal or continue to pass on our pain is determined by our…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

This article is about a common dynamic in families in which parents feel controlled by their teenage or adult child's anger, irritability, and/or fragility and, as a result, avoid approaching certain topics or setting needed limits. Tiptoeing and avoiding instead…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Your Kids Disappoint You
When Your Kids Disappoint You

When Your Kids Disappoint You

Parents may have a clear vision of their child’s “potential.” When their child's actual performance does not measure up, parents often become fearful about their futures. Even more unnerving is when kids don’t share these visions or worries. It’s enough…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Youth ages 18-25 have the highest rate of weed use, and this is increasing (SAMSA, 2025). But why does using weed really matter? Older generations may have used weed too and found it harmless. Who is impacted negatively by weed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Teens Ignore Warnings & What Actually Works
A young woman holds a green bottle, surrounded by others and smoke in a colorful, dimly lit setting.
Why Teens Ignore Warnings & What Actually Works

Why Teens Ignore Warnings & What Actually Works

Psychologically informed approaches motivate teens to make thoughtful decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Psychologically Speaking (9)

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce
A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

A Boy Divided: How Children are Affected in Contentious Divorce

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting the child’s experience of being caught in the middle between their parents in a contentious situation, as well as the parents’ perspective. These descriptions are…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective, followed by the therapist’s psychological analysis and guidance.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Courage & Limits With Your Teen
Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the parent’s and teenager's perspective, with teens who are too good to be true. The story helps teach parents what to look for with…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Power Plays Between Brothers & Families
Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

This column tells a story about power plays between brothers and in families, depicting how the troubled relationship between two brothers was a therapeutic opportunity to change maladaptive family patterns. The story is told from both the parent’s and the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective with children who are high achievers and “too good” to be true, while dangerously suffering in silence. The story…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

This column depicts the challenges parents face when trying to protect their teen. The story is told from the separate viewpoints of Dylan, 17, and his parents in a situation involving unproductive conversations about drinking. The story is followed by…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Psychology News (18)

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Teen drinking alters brain development, increasing anxiety and cravings, and heightens risk for adult alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making
Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

This blog discusses recent findings that women may be more effective than men in negotiating finances in certain situations and making smart decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Wondering how to support your spouse’s career? Research shows a supportive partner boosts success, job satisfaction, and happiness by reducing stress.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health
Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health

Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health

This blog discusses research on the positive effect of psychotherapy in changing the brain and the positive ways the mind can impact biology.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

Communicating with teens is key—poor communication can make them feel invalidated, raising risk of self-harm. Validating feelings supports safety.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online behaviors that can put teens at risk—why they hide cyberbullying, sexting, and social pressure, plus parenting tips to guide and protect them.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

This blog discusses recent research on teen recklessness and how it's not what you think.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus
The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

This blog discusses important findings on sexual assault on campus.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Impact of Cannabis Use on Bipolar Disorder Symptoms
The Impact of Cannabis Use on Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

The Impact of Cannabis Use on Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

Cannabis use is linked to an increase in mania, depression, and poor clinical outcomes for those with bipolar disorder.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment

The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment

This blog discusses recent findings on the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Other topics: how binge drinking in adolescents affects gene expression in adulthood, and recent finding on marijuana use in people with bipolar disorder.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

Binge drinking in college age youth and on college campuses is an alarming, prevalent problem that has been normalized in the college culture among those involved in it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain
The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain

The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain

This blog discusses interesting new research on the positive biological effects of love and support.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

This blog discusses the unique strengths of sensitive kids.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unspoken Issue With Guns
The Unspoken Issue With Guns

The Unspoken Issue With Guns

This blog discusses recent data on guns, violence, and abuse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Youth ages 18-25 have the highest rate of weed use, and this is increasing (SAMSA, 2025). But why does using weed really matter? Older generations may have used weed too and found it harmless. Who is impacted negatively by weed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Relationship Issues (23)

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?
A couple embraces and kisses, dressed in formal attire against a colorful sunset backdrop.
4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

Find out why matching with certain types of people can lead to surprising outcomes you did not expect (or want).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Good Sex Life Is Not Just About Chemistry
A Good Sex Life Is Not Just About Chemistry

A Good Sex Life Is Not Just About Chemistry

Feelings that are unconscious or unresolved make themselves known through actions and symptoms. Persevering to uncover the true and often underlying meaning of symptoms and behaviors may not only save your relationship, but also open you up to a deeper…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Surprising Cause of Conflicts in Relationships (and Easy Remedy)
A Surprising Cause of Conflicts in Relationships (and Easy Remedy)

A Surprising Cause of Conflicts in Relationships (and Easy Remedy)

A common but hidden cause of conflict in relationships is harboring an inaccurate belief about your partner’s (or teenager’s) intentions. Our perception of why the other person did or didn’t do something, and what we believe that means, can make…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook
A woman carries two boxes labeled "Living Room #4" while a man checks his phone.
Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Wondering how to support your spouse’s career? Research shows a supportive partner boosts success, job satisfaction, and happiness by reducing stress.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Coldplay And the Dignity Of Shame (July 23, 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize - or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get Along When You Disagree
Two people perform a balancing act on a blue mat, surrounded by snacks and a laptop. One holds a phone.
How to Get Along When You Disagree

How to Get Along When You Disagree

Are you or your spouse harboring silent resentment? There's a better way.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

Boundary setting is challenging. Most people have difficulty saying no or setting a boundary. Predictably, ithout a strategy, people resort to repeating the same tactics that haven't worked or give in and then get resentful. Boundaries protect relationships, and this…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With
It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

Many people seek partners based on a list of qualifications or instinctive attraction to certain types. These approaches, though popular, do not consider the flavor that will emerge when features they are drawn to co-mingle with their own personality.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind
A man with a thoughtful expression looks slightly puzzled, wearing a blue button-up shirt.
Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Some men have a pattern of instinctively accommodating and then becoming resentful and acting it out - often without realizing it. Men vulnerable to this dynamic may have limited self-awareness or skills to communicate their needs and feelings directly. Secret…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

This column offers a simple strategy to help couples reduce and de-escalate conflict. It discusses common struggles behind closed doors. Common issues between spouses during the pandemic have to do with risk tolerance differences, feeling trapped and resentful. This piece…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?
Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?

Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?

Selfish behavior or lack of empathy that looks like narcissism can be a manifestation by hidden hurt and resentment caused by insideious unresolved marital issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse
A man in a hoodie points to his shadow, which resembles a long nose, against a gray wall.
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

Learn why people cheat in relationships and whether it means they don’t really love their wife (or husband). The answer may surprise you.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Fantasy Crosses the Line
When Fantasy Crosses the Line

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?
Two women pull a man in different directions, showing tension in a domestic setting.
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong
Two women sit on a couch, one looks upset and turns away, while the other gestures expressively, appearing frustrated.
Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Frustrated by someone in your life who won’t admit they are wrong? Learn the psychology behind this problem and how it impacts relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Shame, Guilt, & Out of Control Behavior (28)

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors
A man in a blue shirt and cap looks concerned, holding his forehead with a serious expression.
10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

Breaking out of self-destructive habits requires deliberate action - not willpower, talking, or insight alone. Escape behaviors are often an unconscious attempt to avoid shame and other difficult feeling states, but when they become habitual, they fuel more shame and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior
5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Hidden shame often drives self-destructive behaviors and other psychological symptoms such as rage, avoidance, or addictions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Barriers to True Forgiveness
Barriers to True Forgiveness

Barriers to True Forgiveness

Well, forgiveness is not so simple. We cannot just decide to forgive and command ourselves to make it happen through sheer force of will.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs
Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Fantasy, Secrecy, & Compartmentalization Act as Psychological Accomplices to Affairs

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Coldplay And the Dignity Of Shame (July 23, 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness
Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness

Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness

Self-defeating behaviors can be understood as habits with psychological, often unconscious motives. Breaking these habits requires not only insight into the function they serve and the resolve to stop them, but the courage and initiative to try out new behaviors,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?
How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize - or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

There are two states of mind we can be in when it comes to temptation: zooming in and fantasizing about the rush, or zooming out and seeing the broader picture of how things will play out if we act on…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Tell What Your Guilt Means, and Turn It Around
A person sits in a meditative pose, surrounded by glowing particles and light emanating from their center.
How to Tell What Your Guilt Means, and Turn It Around

How to Tell What Your Guilt Means, and Turn It Around

Learn what your guilt is really telling you and what to do with it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Shame Good or Bad? the Effects of Shame & Guilt
A silhouetted woman stands surrounded by multiple pointing hands on a red background.
Is Shame Good or Bad? the Effects of Shame & Guilt

Is Shame Good or Bad? the Effects of Shame & Guilt

Do you know the difference between shame and guilt, why shame is worse than guilt, and how shame is transmitted?
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families
Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction
Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

One of the most common difficulties for parents is how to contain their reactions and not make things worse when children don’t do well or fail to measure up to their expectations. Families with kids who are not high achievers,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word
A hand holds a martini glass with small figures inside, including a dollar sign and three people in various poses.
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

Describing yourself (or someone else) as a "people pleaser" confuses subordinating yourself with altruism, and encourages this unhealthy behavior. Read Dr. Margolies commentary in the New York Times to understand the psychology behind the term “people pleaser” and why the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season
Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Guilt can be used unconsciously to get loved ones to do what we want. Even though this method doesn't always produce the intended effects, we may resort to it when feeling helpless in the face of longing and disappointment.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You
A man leans against a wall, resting his forehead on it, wearing a light sweater and dark pants.
Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should You Punish Bad Behavior? the Answer May Surprise You

Should you punish bad behavior? Punishment, including self-punishment, can teach the wrong lesson and is different from consequences. Even when we (or someone else) deserve to feel guilty, guilt can backfire and make people worse.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse
A man in a hoodie points to his shadow, which resembles a long nose, against a gray wall.
The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

The Psychology of a Cheating Spouse

Learn why people cheat in relationships and whether it means they don’t really love their wife (or husband). The answer may surprise you.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men
The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of the Guilt-Tripper
A woman sits with crossed arms while a couple argues in the background. A flower vase is on the table.
The Psychology of the Guilt-Tripper

The Psychology of the Guilt-Tripper

Does a family guilt-tripper have an emotional hold over you? Here's what makes them tick and why you feel you are being controlled.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

Underlying the stories that men tell iabout their wives n therapy is the feeling that their wives are not really their friend. Women don't seem to realize this. For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: The Raw Power of Repentance (French, July 28th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Fantasy Crosses the Line
When Fantasy Crosses the Line

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide
When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

When Men Feel Trapped: a Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is essentially an identity crisis that occurs at around midlife that evolves into a crisis when men act out their feelings and have an affair or otherwise blow up their lives. Men in a midlife crisis feel…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?
Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?
Two women pull a man in different directions, showing tension in a domestic setting.
Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Teens & Young Adults (52)

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen
10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

Practical tips for dealing with teenagers to build trust, respect, and better communication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

Parents get intimidated when their teenager refuses to talk or shuts down conversations. Here are 3 simple tricks to get your teenager to talk, listen, and engage in a two-way conversation.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices
6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

Helping teens make good choices. Reduce risky behavior. Proven strategies for teaching how to make the right decisions and better decision making.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens
A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

In order to help teens, we must accurately diagnose why a particular teen in a particular context is irritable or reactive - rather than respond in a reflexive way.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges
A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

With the arrival of summer, many teenagers will be preparing to go off to college and leaving home for the first time. In this final leg of the race, families face many challenges navigating this transition.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe
A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

Learn the facts about the teenage brain. Take this short quiz to see if you still harbor common stereotypes about teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You
Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

How do we deal with getting our loved ones to do what we want them to do? In all relationships we feel the tension created by this dilemma. The subtext of interactions between parents and children facing conflict shapes the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood
Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Teen drinking alters brain development, increasing anxiety and cravings, and heightens risk for adult alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective, followed by the therapist’s psychological analysis and guidance.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen
A person sits on a bed, using a device, surrounded by scattered clothes and a messy room.
Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Feeling rejected, worried, or fed up with your college-bound teen? You are not alone. Here's what to do.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Courage & Limits With Your Teen
Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the parent’s and teenager's perspective, with teens who are too good to be true. The story helps teach parents what to look for with…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?
Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

This is the story of a kid who feels propelled to act out - yet equally powerful is his unconscious need to get caught. The essence of what’s needed is to listen and respond to danger in a firm and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise
Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on Why Rebellion Is Subordination in Disguise

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: How college-educated Republicans learned to love Trump again (Michael Bender, January 14)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or emotional control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, parents and teachers may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

Communicating with teens is key—poor communication can make them feel invalidated, raising risk of self-harm. Validating feelings supports safety.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

When grades are slipping and teens don’t seem to be taking action, it’s easy for parents to react from frustration and helplessness. Under pressure, we can fall into common traps without realizing it. These common instinctive reactions, even if they…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

Although we don’t usually think of suicide as contagious, one of the strongest predictors of suicide in youth is the suicide or suicide attempt of a friend or family member.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

Parents don’t have the power to influence whether their child is gay or not, but do have the power to influence how their child feels about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)
How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)

How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)

When we witness people in our lives headed down the wrong path - it’s a natural instinct to correct them, educate them about what’s wrong with what they’re doing, and argue the merits of our position. But this approach, rather…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
A cartoon boy with spiky blonde hair and 3D glasses walks forward, arms outstretched.
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

We all are faced at times with trying to persuade other people, or ourselves, to change a behavior. BUt our efforts and good intentions can leave us feeling frustrated and helpless. Why is it that people don't just do what…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control
How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

How to Resist Temptation & Be More in Control

There are two states of mind we can be in when it comes to temptation: zooming in and fantasizing about the rush, or zooming out and seeing the broader picture of how things will play out if we act on…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents
Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online behaviors that can put teens at risk—why they hide cyberbullying, sexting, and social pressure, plus parenting tips to guide and protect them.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

One of the most common difficulties for parents is how to contain their reactions and not make things worse when children don’t do well or fail to measure up to their expectations. Families with kids who are not high achievers,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction
Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parents of teens can use answers. But it’s not so easy to stay updated. This questionnaire highlights common questions and popular confusions to help parents sort out truth from fiction.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Teens don’t feel safe talking to adults about suicide. Some suicidal teens may be good actors - showing us what we want to see. Learn how to make it safe for your teen to talk to you and trust you,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2
Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2

Protecting Teens From Danger: Tips & Advice for Parents – Part 2

​The teenage brain has been compared to a car with a powerful gas pedal and weak brakes when stimulated by the presence, or even anticipated witnessing, of other teens. Drawn to their peers, teens pull away from us - and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind
Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Research suggests that adolescence may represent a “critical period” in which the brain is particularly sensitive to being shaped by experiences - creating both vulnerability and opportunity depending on what behaviors are practiced during this time. Teens who take the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen
Four students sit at a table, focused on writing during a test.
6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen

6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen

Check out Dr. Margolies’ new article on PsychologyToday about what really predicts lifelong success for teenagers and what parents can do to help them develop into healthy, competent adults.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth
Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

Teenagers Behaving Badly? A Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

This blog discusses recent research on teen recklessness and how it's not what you think.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective with children who are high achievers and “too good” to be true, while dangerously suffering in silence. The story…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus
The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

This blog discusses important findings on sexual assault on campus.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Impact of Cannabis Use on Bipolar Disorder Symptoms
The Impact of Cannabis Use on Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

The Impact of Cannabis Use on Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

Cannabis use is linked to an increase in mania, depression, and poor clinical outcomes for those with bipolar disorder.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

Our teens are embedded in a culture driven by competition and perfectionism, where success is defined by status, performance and appearance. These values are transmitted to our children nonverbally through our emotional state and through what we notice, are impressed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates
A blue graduation cap with a yellow character clinging to its tassel against a pink background.
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

Perfectionism in teens is rising with pressure to succeed. Learn how parental expectations impact mental health and shape success beyond high school.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The senior year countdown to college brings out parents’ worries and fears, which increases teens’ own anxieties and self-doubt. During this time of escalating pressure and stress in families, parents can fall into common traps that defeat their intention to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking
The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

Binge drinking in college age youth and on college campuses is an alarming, prevalent problem that has been normalized in the college culture among those involved in it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Truth About Teenagers That Most Adults Get Wrong
A young woman rests her chin on her hand, looking thoughtfully upward with a neutral expression.
The Truth About Teenagers That Most Adults Get Wrong

The Truth About Teenagers That Most Adults Get Wrong

Are teenagers immune to their parents' influence? Find out how to break through.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide
A person in a hoodie sits on a bed, looking at a phone in a dimly lit room.
What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

What Parents Don’t Know About Internet Porn: a Parent Guide

Parents can mediate the negative effects of internet porn on teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

Why do teens watch porn? How it impacts their views on sex, consent, and relationships—and what parents can do to effectively address these issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

This column depicts the challenges parents face when trying to protect their teen. The story is told from the separate viewpoints of Dylan, 17, and his parents in a situation involving unproductive conversations about drinking. The story is followed by…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

This article is about a common dynamic in families in which parents feel controlled by their teenage or adult child's anger, irritability, and/or fragility and, as a result, avoid approaching certain topics or setting needed limits. Tiptoeing and avoiding instead…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?
Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Youth ages 18-25 have the highest rate of weed use, and this is increasing (SAMSA, 2025). But why does using weed really matter? Older generations may have used weed too and found it harmless. Who is impacted negatively by weed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Teens Ignore Warnings & What Actually Works
A young woman holds a green bottle, surrounded by others and smoke in a colorful, dimly lit setting.
Why Teens Ignore Warnings & What Actually Works

Why Teens Ignore Warnings & What Actually Works

Psychologically informed approaches motivate teens to make thoughtful decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Therapy 101 (19)

5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk
A young man sits with crossed arms, listening intently to a man in a pink shirt, who holds a clipboard.
5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk

5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk

People make similar mistakes that are not so obvious when trying to engage someone who doesn’t want to talk. Considering the audience and previous interactions with them allows us to predict how conversations will play out and make informed decisions.…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health
Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health

Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health

This blog discusses research on the positive effect of psychotherapy in changing the brain and the positive ways the mind can impact biology.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)
How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)

How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)

When we witness people in our lives headed down the wrong path - it’s a natural instinct to correct them, educate them about what’s wrong with what they’re doing, and argue the merits of our position. But this approach, rather…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

We all are faced at times with trying to persuade other people, or ourselves, to change a behavior. BUt our efforts and good intentions can leave us feeling frustrated and helpless. Why is it that people don't just do what…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Tell If Your Decisions Are From Your Evolved or Primitive Brain
How to Tell If Your Decisions Are From Your Evolved or Primitive Brain

How to Tell If Your Decisions Are From Your Evolved or Primitive Brain

Decisions can be motivated by thoughtful consideration from our higher mind (frontal lobe/executive functions), or fear-based survival instincts (amygdala, impulses) from a more primitive mind. When decisions are informed by our higher mind, they are more likely to lead to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues
Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues

Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues

Relationships and the ending of relationships are one of the most common reasons for talking to a psychologist. When relationships end, many people find themselves overtaken by powerful feelings.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Therapy Just a Crutch – or Does It Make You Smarter?
A woman jumps joyfully against a sunset, breaking free from chains, with birds flying in the sky.
Is Therapy Just a Crutch – or Does It Make You Smarter?

Is Therapy Just a Crutch – or Does It Make You Smarter?

Is therapy good for you? Discover how therapy scientifically improves brain function, enhances learning, and fosters smarter life decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Men’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

There are aspects of men’s experiences that are particular to being male. In working with men, it is important for a psychologist to understand the differences in men’s experiences, what men need, and how to best help them achieve their…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Surprising Reason Some Therapists Get Better Results
The Surprising Reason Some Therapists Get Better Results

The Surprising Reason Some Therapists Get Better Results

How to choose a therapist based on personality fit and connection. Understand why some therapists achieve better outcomes to find your best match.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Problems – Here’s Why
Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Problems – Here’s Why

Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Problems – Here’s Why

Therapy is more than just talking about your problems. It’s a powerful platform for learning and healing. Therapy eases emotional distress, and can jump start your ability to move forward, practice more effective strategies, make more intentional decisions, and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Therapy Modalities Explained
Therapy Modalities Explained

Therapy Modalities Explained

Therapy modalities explained clearly, including psychodynamic, CBT, ACT, interpersonal, and systemic approaches, plus tips for choosing a therapist.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Therapy
A male therapist listens as a teenage boy sits with his head in his hands, expressing distress in a cozy room.
This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Therapy

This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Therapy

Why don’t some people make progress in therapy? Find out the most common reasons why.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Sorry, You Don’t Get an A for Effort (December 29th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Can Therapy Do for Me?
What Can Therapy Do for Me?

What Can Therapy Do for Me?

Benefits of therapy include reduced anxiety, improved relationships, trauma recovery, better decision-making, resilience, and personal growth.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

Underlying the stories that men tell iabout their wives n therapy is the feeling that their wives are not really their friend. Women don't seem to realize this. For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Some struggles that women experience are common to many women, and can therefore be attributed to or understood in this larger context of what it means to be a woman in this culture. Framing women's issues in this larger context…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

People often avoid and isolate those who are grieving or have terminal illnesses, either literally or emotionally - inadvertently isolating the person in their lives who is suffering. They are uncomfortable, don’t know what to say or how to act…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Trauma (9)

Coping With Trauma & Avoiding Misconceptions
Coping With Trauma & Avoiding Misconceptions

Coping With Trauma & Avoiding Misconceptions

Most of us function by maintaining an illusion of control over life with only dim awareness of possible catastrophe. A basic sense of security runs in the background of our psyche - like a computer operating system - imperceptible until…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens
How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

How Parents & Teachers Can Help Prevent Suicide in Teens

Although we don’t usually think of suicide as contagious, one of the strongest predictors of suicide in youth is the suicide or suicide attempt of a friend or family member.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens
Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Preventing the Spread of Suicide in Teens

Teens don’t feel safe talking to adults about suicide. Some suicidal teens may be good actors - showing us what we want to see. Learn how to make it safe for your teen to talk to you and trust you,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment

The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment

This blog discusses recent findings on the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Other topics: how binge drinking in adolescents affects gene expression in adulthood, and recent finding on marijuana use in people with bipolar disorder.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of How We React to Witnessing Violence
A person holds a torn paper with "HELP" written on it, illuminated by a small flame.
The Psychology of How We React to Witnessing Violence

The Psychology of How We React to Witnessing Violence

Have people lost their humanity? It's hard to feel otherwise reading about the death on New York's subway. But other explanations may help restore hope.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain
The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain

The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain

This blog discusses interesting new research on the positive biological effects of love and support.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Many people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder fail to seek treatment because of not having correctly identified or recognized their symptoms as trauma-related, and/or not knowing their symptoms are treatable. Also, the inherent avoidance, withdrawal, memory disruption, fear, guilt, shame,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why We Hold Grudges: The Psychology of Whether to Forgive
Three people in festive attire sit at a table with food, looking bored or contemplative.
Why We Hold Grudges: The Psychology of Whether to Forgive

Why We Hold Grudges: The Psychology of Whether to Forgive

The holiday season ramps up pressure to forgive family members who have hurt us.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy
You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

You Should Be So Lucky: Dealing With Tragedy

People often avoid and isolate those who are grieving or have terminal illnesses, either literally or emotionally - inadvertently isolating the person in their lives who is suffering. They are uncomfortable, don’t know what to say or how to act…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Understanding Executive Function Deficits & ADHD (18)

A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges
A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

With the arrival of summer, many teenagers will be preparing to go off to college and leaving home for the first time. In this final leg of the race, families face many challenges navigating this transition.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic
Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic

Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic

Dr. Margolies' Letter to the editor with a response from the publication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or emotional control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, parents and teachers may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

When grades are slipping and teens don’t seem to be taking action, it’s easy for parents to react from frustration and helplessness. Under pressure, we can fall into common traps without realizing it. These common instinctive reactions, even if they…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is There an ADD Epidemic in Adults?
Is There an ADD Epidemic in Adults?

Is There an ADD Epidemic in Adults?

With ADD, lack of capacity can trump the best intentions to use will-power and self-discipline to stay on track. ADD deficits often cause longstanding effects on careers and relationships, leading to underachievement and a chronic sense of frustration, shame, and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

One of the most common difficulties for parents is how to contain their reactions and not make things worse when children don’t do well or fail to measure up to their expectations. Families with kids who are not high achievers,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections
Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

Reactive Parenting with Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens
The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

The Danger of Hidden Pain In High Achieving Teens

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective with children who are high achievers and “too good” to be true, while dangerously suffering in silence. The story…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

Our teens are embedded in a culture driven by competition and perfectionism, where success is defined by status, performance and appearance. These values are transmitted to our children nonverbally through our emotional state and through what we notice, are impressed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates
A blue graduation cap with a yellow character clinging to its tassel against a pink background.
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

Perfectionism in teens is rising with pressure to succeed. Learn how parental expectations impact mental health and shape success beyond high school.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The senior year countdown to college brings out parents’ worries and fears, which increases teens’ own anxieties and self-doubt. During this time of escalating pressure and stress in families, parents can fall into common traps that defeat their intention to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

This blog discusses the unique strengths of sensitive kids.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Sorry, You Don’t Get an A for Effort (December 29th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Perseverance Costs You Success
When Perseverance Costs You Success

When Perseverance Costs You Success

Most of us know that persevering - staying the course and not giving up despite difficulties and setbacks - is an important part of what it takes to be successful in many areas of life. But perseverance, like other intrinsically…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Your Kids Disappoint You
When Your Kids Disappoint You

When Your Kids Disappoint You

Parents may have a clear vision of their child’s “potential.” When their child's actual performance does not measure up, parents often become fearful about their futures. Even more unnerving is when kids don’t share these visions or worries. It’s enough…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Unlocking Potential (49)

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen
10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

Practical tips for dealing with teenagers to build trust, respect, and better communication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen
3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

Parents get intimidated when their teenager refuses to talk or shuts down conversations. Here are 3 simple tricks to get your teenager to talk, listen, and engage in a two-way conversation.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices
6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

Helping teens make good choices. Reduce risky behavior. Proven strategies for teaching how to make the right decisions and better decision making.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges
A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

With the arrival of summer, many teenagers will be preparing to go off to college and leaving home for the first time. In this final leg of the race, families face many challenges navigating this transition.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe
A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

Learn the facts about the teenage brain. Take this short quiz to see if you still harbor common stereotypes about teens.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Are You Confusing Rumination With Problem-Solving?
Are You Confusing Rumination With Problem-Solving?

Are You Confusing Rumination With Problem-Solving?

An ill-fated but common problem is failing to recognize rumination as a sign of anxiety, and confusing it with thinking things through.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids
Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

How do we deal with getting our loved ones to do what we want them to do? In all relationships we feel the tension created by this dilemma. The subtext of interactions between parents and children facing conflict shapes the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: It's the Era of Swagger Without the Sweat (Savannah Sobrevilla, March 29, 2026)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity
Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

Bonding With Your Teen: A Hidden Opportunity

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the teenager’s and parent's perspective, followed by the therapist’s psychological analysis and guidance.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?
A woman comforts a young man, who appears distressed, in a bright kitchen setting.
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Many people experience vicarious distress when imagining other people’s reactions, which can hold them back from taking needed action in those relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Courage & Limits With Your Teen
Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in families, depicting both the parent’s and teenager's perspective, with teens who are too good to be true. The story helps teach parents what to look for with…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter
Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

Crisis of Confidence in a Teen Athlete: It’s a Family Matter

This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair
Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads
Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Easy Steps to Reconnect: A Guide for Emotionally Avoidant Dads

Empathic ability, or “mind reading,” develops in the brain when parents know how to translate their children's reactions and respond in a way that helps them regulate their emotional states. This process also involves helping the child understand what is…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid: Part 1

A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or emotional control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance
Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Executive Function Problem or Just a Lazy Kid? Part 2 — Parent Tips and Guidance

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, parents and teachers may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness
Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness

Getting Unhooked From Pain & Choosing Happiness

Self-defeating behaviors can be understood as habits with psychological, often unconscious motives. Breaking these habits requires not only insight into the function they serve and the resolve to stop them, but the courage and initiative to try out new behaviors,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health
Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health

Good News on the Mind’s Impact on Physical Health

This blog discusses research on the positive effect of psychotherapy in changing the brain and the positive ways the mind can impact biology.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety
How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

How Communication Breakdowns Between Parents & Teens Can Affect Health, Well-Being, and Safety

Communicating with teens is key—poor communication can make them feel invalidated, raising risk of self-harm. Validating feelings supports safety.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)
How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure (and 5 Common Traps)

When grades are slipping and teens don’t seem to be taking action, it’s easy for parents to react from frustration and helplessness. Under pressure, we can fall into common traps without realizing it. These common instinctive reactions, even if they…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay
How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

How to Be Protective When Your Son Thinks He Is Gay

Parents don’t have the power to influence whether their child is gay or not, but do have the power to influence how their child feels about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get Along When You Disagree
Two people perform a balancing act on a blue mat, surrounded by snacks and a laptop. One holds a phone.
How to Get Along When You Disagree

How to Get Along When You Disagree

Are you or your spouse harboring silent resentment? There's a better way.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)
How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)

How to Get More of the Behavior You Want in Kids (Without Really Trying)

When kids independently do what we would have wanted, either their natural inclinations sync with our values - or our values have been successfully transmitted. At these happy moments, an ill-timed temptation to jump in to emphasize a lesson may…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)
How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)

How to Get People to Make Good Decisions (and Not Cause Them to Do the Opposite)

When we witness people in our lives headed down the wrong path - it’s a natural instinct to correct them, educate them about what’s wrong with what they’re doing, and argue the merits of our position. But this approach, rather…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up
A cartoon boy with spiky blonde hair and 3D glasses walks forward, arms outstretched.
How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change
How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

How to Overcome Obstacles to Change

We all are faced at times with trying to persuade other people, or ourselves, to change a behavior. BUt our efforts and good intentions can leave us feeling frustrated and helpless. Why is it that people don't just do what…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

Thoughtful preparation when it comes to conversations involving strong feelings is worth the effort in order to maximize success and effect damage control. Fast forwarding in our minds to predict how communications will likely play out can make it quickly…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)
Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Influencing People: What Works to Change Behavior (and How It Applies to Parenting)

Without accurately understanding children’s behavior, we may intervene in ways that compound the situation, creating a control struggle on top of the original problem. To be effective in helping children, we must accurately diagnose the problem and be curious: What’s…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Therapy Just a Crutch – or Does It Make You Smarter?
A woman jumps joyfully against a sunset, breaking free from chains, with birds flying in the sky.
Is Therapy Just a Crutch – or Does It Make You Smarter?

Is Therapy Just a Crutch – or Does It Make You Smarter?

Is therapy good for you? Discover how therapy scientifically improves brain function, enhances learning, and fosters smarter life decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)
Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

Parent Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 1)

One of the most common difficulties for parents is how to contain their reactions and not make things worse when children don’t do well or fail to measure up to their expectations. Families with kids who are not high achievers,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)
Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

Parent Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures (Part 2)

When parents feel guilty or excessively bad for children, it’s harder to set limits, be truthful and direct, and challenge kids within their zone of capability. This inhibits opportunities for children to develop self-control, confidence and realistic expectations of themselves…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen
Four students sit at a table, focused on writing during a test.
6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen

6 Ways You May Be Misguiding Your Teen

Check out Dr. Margolies’ new article on PsychologyToday about what really predicts lifelong success for teenagers and what parents can do to help them develop into healthy, competent adults.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed
The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed

Our teens are embedded in a culture driven by competition and perfectionism, where success is defined by status, performance and appearance. These values are transmitted to our children nonverbally through our emotional state and through what we notice, are impressed…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates
A blue graduation cap with a yellow character clinging to its tassel against a pink background.
The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

The Paths to Progress for Our Graduates

Perfectionism in teens is rising with pressure to succeed. Learn how parental expectations impact mental health and shape success beyond high school.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen
The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The Pressure Cooker Before College: How to Actually Help Your Teen

The senior year countdown to college brings out parents’ worries and fears, which increases teens’ own anxieties and self-doubt. During this time of escalating pressure and stress in families, parents can fall into common traps that defeat their intention to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Surprising Reason Some Therapists Get Better Results
The Surprising Reason Some Therapists Get Better Results

The Surprising Reason Some Therapists Get Better Results

How to choose a therapist based on personality fit and connection. Understand why some therapists achieve better outcomes to find your best match.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive
The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

The Unique Strengths of Sensitive Kids and How to Help Them Thrive

This blog discusses the unique strengths of sensitive kids.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Problems – Here’s Why
Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Problems – Here’s Why

Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About Problems – Here’s Why

Therapy is more than just talking about your problems. It’s a powerful platform for learning and healing. Therapy eases emotional distress, and can jump start your ability to move forward, practice more effective strategies, make more intentional decisions, and be…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Therapy
A male therapist listens as a teenage boy sits with his head in his hands, expressing distress in a cozy room.
This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Therapy

This One Thing Can Make or Break Your Therapy

Why don’t some people make progress in therapy? Find out the most common reasons why.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting
Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting

Transforming Struggles With Kids Into Successes: Simple Strategies for Parenting

The challenge of getting certain kids (for example, kids who are distracted, hyperactive, rebellious, cranky) to follow routines and guidelines can test any parent’s patience. The flavor of the struggle varies with age and topic, but begins when toddlers first…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice
Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Unintended Effects of Popular Advice

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Sorry, You Don’t Get an A for Effort (December 29th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)
What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

What Teens Are Doing Online (and Don’t Tell Their Parents)

Why do teens watch porn? How it impacts their views on sex, consent, and relationships—and what parents can do to effectively address these issues.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: The Raw Power of Repentance (French, July 28th 2025)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Perseverance Costs You Success
When Perseverance Costs You Success

When Perseverance Costs You Success

Most of us know that persevering - staying the course and not giving up despite difficulties and setbacks - is an important part of what it takes to be successful in many areas of life. But perseverance, like other intrinsically…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Your Kids Disappoint You
When Your Kids Disappoint You

When Your Kids Disappoint You

Parents may have a clear vision of their child’s “potential.” When their child's actual performance does not measure up, parents often become fearful about their futures. Even more unnerving is when kids don’t share these visions or worries. It’s enough…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies

Women's Issues (38)

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?
A couple embraces and kisses, dressed in formal attire against a colorful sunset backdrop.
4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

Find out why matching with certain types of people can lead to surprising outcomes you did not expect (or want).
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic
Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic

Amazing Doesn’t Have to Mean Superhuman & Perfectionistic

Dr. Margolies' Letter to the editor with a response from the publication.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Barriers to True Forgiveness
Barriers to True Forgiveness

Barriers to True Forgiveness

Well, forgiveness is not so simple. We cannot just decide to forgive and command ourselves to make it happen through sheer force of will.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome
Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Being An Actual Imposter is Now More Popular Than Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: It's the Era of Swagger Without the Sweat (Savannah Sobrevilla, March 29, 2026)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making
Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

This blog discusses recent findings that women may be more effective than men in negotiating finances in certain situations and making smart decisions.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?
A woman comforts a young man, who appears distressed, in a bright kitchen setting.
Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Many people experience vicarious distress when imagining other people’s reactions, which can hold them back from taking needed action in those relationships.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?
Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Wondering how to support your spouse’s career? Research shows a supportive partner boosts success, job satisfaction, and happiness by reducing stress.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Competition Among Women: Myth & Reality
Competition Among Women: Myth & Reality

Competition Among Women: Myth & Reality

Women seem to have a reputation for being “catty” and competitive with other women, unlike how men behave with other men. This is a curious notion, especially since women are actually less competitive than men out in the world and…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Coping With Trauma & Avoiding Misconceptions
Coping With Trauma & Avoiding Misconceptions

Coping With Trauma & Avoiding Misconceptions

Most of us function by maintaining an illusion of control over life with only dim awareness of possible catastrophe. A basic sense of security runs in the background of our psyche - like a computer operating system - imperceptible until…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared
Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Good News If You Often Feel Rejected
Good News If You Often Feel Rejected

Good News If You Often Feel Rejected

We all experience rejection as painful. The need to fit in and be accepted is hard-wired. The primal sensitivity to rejection impacts adult relationships, child and teen peer relationships, as well as parents and their children.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child
How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People
How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

Boundary setting is challenging. Most people have difficulty saying no or setting a boundary. Predictably, ithout a strategy, people resort to repeating the same tactics that haven't worked or give in and then get resentful. Boundaries protect relationships, and this…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns
How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

How to Snap People Out of Compulsive Self-Defeating Patterns

Understand why smart people repeat self-defeating patterns. Learn strategies to overcome self-sabotage and break compulsive behaviors permanently.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations
How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

How to Succeed at Influencing People in Difficult Conversations

Thoughtful preparation when it comes to conversations involving strong feelings is worth the effort in order to maximize success and effect damage control. Fast forwarding in our minds to predict how communications will likely play out can make it quickly…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
How to Tell What Your Guilt Means, and Turn It Around
A person sits in a meditative pose, surrounded by glowing particles and light emanating from their center.
How to Tell What Your Guilt Means, and Turn It Around

How to Tell What Your Guilt Means, and Turn It Around

Learn what your guilt is really telling you and what to do with it.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health
Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Is Perfectionism on the Rise in Teenagers? The Startling News About It’s Impact on Mental Health

Perfectionism in teens fuels anxiety and increases suicide risks. Learn how family and community pressure can silently affect teen mental health.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Is Shame Good or Bad? the Effects of Shame & Guilt
A silhouetted woman stands surrounded by multiple pointing hands on a red background.
Is Shame Good or Bad? the Effects of Shame & Guilt

Is Shame Good or Bad? the Effects of Shame & Guilt

Do you know the difference between shame and guilt, why shame is worse than guilt, and how shame is transmitted?
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With
It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

Many people seek partners based on a list of qualifications or instinctive attraction to certain types. These approaches, though popular, do not consider the flavor that will emerge when features they are drawn to co-mingle with their own personality.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity
A woman thoughtfully considers her next move in a chess game, with black pieces on the board.
Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Are you giving up your power in relationships with intimidating people? Understanding the psychology behind what's happening can help you act from a position of strength.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word
A hand holds a martini glass with small figures inside, including a dollar sign and three people in various poses.
“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

Describing yourself (or someone else) as a "people pleaser" confuses subordinating yourself with altruism, and encourages this unhealthy behavior. Read Dr. Margolies commentary in the New York Times to understand the psychology behind the term “people pleaser” and why the…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse
Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

This column offers a simple strategy to help couples reduce and de-escalate conflict. It discusses common struggles behind closed doors. Common issues between spouses during the pandemic have to do with risk tolerance differences, feeling trapped and resentful. This piece…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)
Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

This article discusses confusing patterns that occur with narcissistic and controlling parents and other people.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus
The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

This blog discusses important findings on sexual assault on campus.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out
The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment

The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Maltreatment

This blog discusses recent findings on the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Other topics: how binge drinking in adolescents affects gene expression in adulthood, and recent finding on marijuana use in people with bipolar disorder.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Psychology of How We React to Witnessing Violence
A person holds a torn paper with "HELP" written on it, illuminated by a small flame.
The Psychology of How We React to Witnessing Violence

The Psychology of How We React to Witnessing Violence

Have people lost their humanity? It's hard to feel otherwise reading about the death on New York's subway. But other explanations may help restore hope.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain
The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain

The Surprising Power of Support: Research on How Love and Support Impacts Trauma Recovery and Buffers Pain

This blog discusses interesting new research on the positive biological effects of love and support.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Many people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder fail to seek treatment because of not having correctly identified or recognized their symptoms as trauma-related, and/or not knowing their symptoms are treatable. Also, the inherent avoidance, withdrawal, memory disruption, fear, guilt, shame,…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
We Can Have an Impact
We Can Have an Impact

We Can Have an Impact

Dr. Margolies’ commentary on a New York Times article with a headline that used a poor choice of words.
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Weddings, Graduations & Other Chapter Endings
Weddings, Graduations & Other Chapter Endings

Weddings, Graduations & Other Chapter Endings

Milestones such as weddings and graduations and other chapter endings are complicated and not always filled with bliss. This article is about the psychologiy of navigating major life transitions. Major transitions are difficult because they unexpectedly activate struggles around saying…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors
What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

Underlying the stories that men tell iabout their wives n therapy is the feeling that their wives are not really their friend. Women don't seem to realize this. For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits
What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

What to Say About Drinking: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Limits

This column depicts the challenges parents face when trying to protect their teen. The story is told from the separate viewpoints of Dylan, 17, and his parents in a situation involving unproductive conversations about drinking. The story is followed by…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Perseverance Costs You Success
When Perseverance Costs You Success

When Perseverance Costs You Success

Most of us know that persevering - staying the course and not giving up despite difficulties and setbacks - is an important part of what it takes to be successful in many areas of life. But perseverance, like other intrinsically…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You
When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

This article is about a common dynamic in families in which parents feel controlled by their teenage or adult child's anger, irritability, and/or fragility and, as a result, avoid approaching certain topics or setting needed limits. Tiptoeing and avoiding instead…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies
Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies
Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help
Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Women’s Issues: How Therapy Can Help

Some struggles that women experience are common to many women, and can therefore be attributed to or understood in this larger context of what it means to be a woman in this culture. Framing women's issues in this larger context…
Dr. Lynn MargoliesDr. Lynn Margolies