In a New York Times opinion column on March 8, 2026 “Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms”, Toobin illustrates how it played out for the law firms who allowed themselves to be held hostage, reminding us why we have to stand up to bullies rather than surrender or stay silent. Silent bystanders, hoping to be spared if they stay under the radar, in effect, make abusive behavior the perceived norm, not only perpetuating it, but showing weakness and putting themselves more at risk as well.
Bullying and aggression occurs in the context of a perceived social norm and not only targets those perceived to be vulnerable, but is itself fueled by perceived weakness. I witness this effect in my work with parents of angry teenagers, as well as others, who are passive, appease, or concede in the face of aggression, fearful that pushing back against hostility will lead to further escalation. Though it’s counterintuitive, being intimidated and failing to demonstrate strength and courage perpetuates abuse of power and escalates hostility, aggression and out of control behavior.
Further, bystanders unknowingly wield the power to either spread negative behavior by silently, or otherwise, endorsing it, or curb it by making it unpopular. Instead, joining forces and supporting those who are bullied, even when we are not the ones under attack, actually makes everyone safer.
When Does Repentance Fail to Lead to Improved Behavior?