Articles on Marital & In-law Issues

by Dr. Lynn Margolies

Back to Family Issues

The characters from the vignettes in Dr. Margolies’ articles are fictitious and designed to be relatable to many people and common themes. They are not based on any patient’s individual situation or disclosure but were derived from a composite of people and events for the purpose of representing real-life situations and psychological dilemmas. Terms of Use.

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy, depicting both the teen and parent’s viewpoints in divorce when the parent child relationship is affected by anger and guilt. The stories are followed by the therapist’s psychological analysis and guidance.

Competing Family Loyalties

As the child becomes an adult, a mother with an anxious, insecure attachment style may refuse to let go, secretly needing to remain the primary love attachment. This may not become apparent until her son find a romantic love partner and devotes himself to her, allowing a competitor to enter the scene. The situation is then often enacted in full drama around family events and holidays when the mother’s explicit demands, and (unspoken) expectation of “loyalty” (e.g. exclusive love) from her son, conflicts with his role as a husband.

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.

Mind Games in Families: How to Keep Your Sanity

Are you giving up your power in relationships with intimidating people? Understanding the psychology behind what’s happening can help you act from a position of strength.

Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online behaviors that can put teens at risk—why they hide cyberbullying, sexting, and social pressure, plus parenting tips to guide and protect them.

Outlawed by Your In-Laws

Failure to set appropriate boundaries with a mother often results in persistent in-law conflicts and problems in the marriage. Many marital issues fall into this category and can be traced to habitual boundary difficulties between mothers and sons which spill over into the man’s relationship with his wife.

Serving Up Guilt This Holiday Season

Guilt can be used unconsciously to get loved ones to do what we want. Even though this method doesn’t always produce the intended effects, we may resort to it when feeling helpless in the face of longing and disappointment.

Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

This article discusses confusing patterns that occur with narcissistic and controlling parents and other people.

The Psychology of Adults Who Are Controlled by a Parent

When childhood dynamics play out in adulthood, the spouse can get roped in.Conflict over competing loyalties is a dysfunctional family dynamic with men who haven’t psychologically separated from their mothers. To have a secure adult relationship, a developmental transition has to occur in which the spouse replaces the mom as the primary attachment. Childhood emotional manipulation can create psychological vulnerability that affects adult romantic attachments.

The Psychology of Midlife Crises in Men

Midlife crisis in men can trigger identity issues, affairs, and risky behaviors. Recognize warning signs and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.

Why Some People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Frustrated by someone in your life who won’t admit they are wrong? Learn the psychology behind this problem and how it impacts relationships.