Articles on Men & Women

by Dr. Lynn Margolies

The characters from the vignettes in Dr. Margolies’ articles are fictitious and designed to be relatable to many people and common themes. They are not based on any patient’s individual situation or disclosure but were derived from a composite of people and events for the purpose of representing real-life situations and psychological dilemmas. Terms of Use.

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

Find out why matching with certain types of people can lead to surprising outcomes you did not expect (or want).

Breaking Stereotypes: Why Women Excel at Financial Negotiation and Decision-Making

This blog discusses recent findings that women may be more effective than men in negotiating finances in certain situations and making smart decisions.

Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Wondering how to support your spouse’s career? Research shows a supportive partner boosts success, job satisfaction, and happiness by reducing stress.

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.

How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

Boundary setting is challenging. Most people have difficulty saying no or setting a boundary. Predictably, ithout a strategy, people resort to repeating the same tactics that haven’t worked or give in and then get resentful. Boundaries protect relationships, and this can used to leverage your own motiavation to set them and as an explicit rationale with another person.

It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

Many people seek partners based on a list of qualifications or instinctive attraction to certain types. These approaches, though popular, do not consider the flavor that will emerge when features they are drawn to co-mingle with their own personality.

“Pleasing” Is Not the Proper Word

Describing yourself (or someone else) as a “people pleaser” confuses subordinating yourself with altruism, and encourages this unhealthy behavior. Read Dr. Margolies commentary in the New York Times to understand the psychology behind the term “people pleaser” and why the language you use matters.

Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

This column offers a simple strategy to help couples reduce and de-escalate conflict. It discusses common struggles behind closed doors. Common issues between spouses during the pandemic have to do with risk tolerance differences, feeling trapped and resentful. This piece offers perspective and ideas that will help in practical ways and apply to couples in general around other issues and in other situations.

The Epidemic of Sexual Violence on Campus

This blog discusses important findings on sexual assault on campus.

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.

What Men Say About Their Wives Behind Closed Doors

Underlying the stories that men tell iabout their wives n therapy is the feeling that their wives are not really their friend. Women don’t seem to realize this. For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for you when you make it, and who encourages you in your career and personal goals because in spite of all else, they really do want you to be happy. Research on marriage has found that celebrating your partner’s success is an essential ingredient of a good marriage, and actually more predictive of a good marriage than being supportive when your partner is unhappy.

Why Appeasing or Being Silent Attracts Aggression in Bullies

Dr. Margolies’ Commentary on A New York Times Column: Trump Is Playing Rope-a-Dope With Elite Law Firms (Jeffrey Toobin, March 5)